I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
