The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
