I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
