Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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