Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
and she was petting her beer can
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
