it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
