Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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