Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize