I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
