you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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