im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
