my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
it glows. i had to have it.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
