Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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