She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Randomize
