I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
this just has baby written all over it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Randomize
