Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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