you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
