So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
