I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
