i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
