Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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