We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
