What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
