my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize