I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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