She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
