i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Can Purell be used as lube?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
