That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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