Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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