I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
