We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
