As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
did i just pee glitter
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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