Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
