Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
