its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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