Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
