David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
