why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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