what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize