Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
