he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
