i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
