She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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