She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
