He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
