Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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