We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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