Dual....:-)
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
