that's an acceptable place to lick
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
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