doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
