Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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