when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
