We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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