my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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