evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
