I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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