Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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