So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
