Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
