and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
