I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Come see our sink grown plant.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Randomize
