god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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