her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
