Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
don't judge my taste in strippers
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
