pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
