She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
