Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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