Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
