if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
