You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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