i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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