New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
