dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
