DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
