That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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